Jokes created by me by 2009
January 2009 Jokes:
Joke 1.
Q. What question comes first in the mind of an atheist when he/she sees and understands the world around him/her after growing up?
Ans. Which Satan has created this world?
Joke 2.
Q. Why did Satan create this world?
Ans. Before the world was born, Satan was feeling very bad, because there was no one to suffer from His Satanic activities. So, He decided to create a world, based on His Satanic Laws. He first created galaxies, stars and planets. He had lots of Big Bang and nuclear explosions while creating galaxies and stars, which made Him very happy. But, after some time, He again became sad because there were just explosions with no one to suffer from them. So, He decided to create living beings also apart from matter, who can suffer from His Satanic Laws. Thus, He started creating bacteria, amoeba, vegetables and animals. He based this part of creation on His First Satanic Law
The First Satanic Law - Every living being will always want to survive, but except plants, every living being has to murder some other living being in order to survive.
Now, He saw animals killing other animals mercilessly for food. This made Him very glad. He told to Himself, “Hahahaha! At last, I caused sufferings to animals through my First Satanic Law.” But, again He became sad, because as per His First Satanic Law, animals will kill other animals only when they were hungry, but not at other time. Satan thought for a long time over this problem and came up with a brilliant solution - “Let Me create a new species of two-legged animals, called humans, who will kill other animals and even other humans, not just for getting food, but also for getting Satanic satisfaction. I will make them in My own image, so that they can glorify Me by following My Satanic Nature.” Satan created humans now, with below additional Satanic Laws -
The Second Satanic Law - Two-legged animals, Humans will consider me God rather than Satan.
The Third Satanic Law – Two-legged animals, Humans, will be made in My Own Image (but will foolishly claim that Man is made in the image of God, as per My Second Satanic Law) and will kill not just for getting food, but also for getting Satanic Joy by inflicting sufferings upon other animals and humans.
The Fourth Satanic Law - Two-legged animals, Humans, will provide me uniterrupted Satanic Joy through their continuous Satanic Deeds of causing suffering to other animals and humans.
The Fifth Satanic Law - Two-legged animals, Humans, will find it very easy to develop a bad habit in even less than 6 seconds, but will find it very difficult to give up a bad habit even after 6 months’ effort. In the same vein, Two-legged animals, Humans, will find it very easy to give up any good habit in even less than 6 seconds, but will find it very difficult to develop any good habit even after 6 months’ effort.
The Sixth Satanic Law – More than 99% of My Satanic Joy will be caused by Satanic Deeds of politicians (most of whom will be my trustworthy Representatives), but all third-class good people will keep on saying till their last breath, “I agree that good people need to join politics, but there are other ways also to contribute to society. I have decided to contribute through other ways.” Thus, politics will always remain occupied by My Satanic Messengers, with all third-class good people focusing on every other way except politics. As an effect of this Satanic Law, politicians will continuously cause more and more bloodshed and immorality in society without any effective opposition from the family-centered, cowardly gang of third-class good people. Thousands of wars will happen for thousands of years; crores of humans will get killed by politicians and most of public money will get looted by them, but third-class good people will continue to sing their beloved Satanic Song till their last breath, “I agree that good people need to join politics, but there are other ways also to contribute to society. I have decided to contribute through other ways.” This will ensure that politics continue to cause more than 99% of My Satanic Joy, without any interruption.
The Seventh Satanic Law - Despite these Satanic Laws, some people will become good through their own effort, but they will fail in making this world a good place, because other people will support them whole-heartedly only after their death and not when they are alive and working for society.
Thus, based on above 7 Satanic Laws, Satan created this world. And is happily enjoying Satanic Joy by seeing the sufferings caused by His 7 Satanic Laws. Satan claims that this world is his Lila (Play) based on His Maya (Satan calls His 7 Satanic Laws as His Maya) and that He created this world only for the sake of His Satanic Joy.
Joke 3.
Q.3. Which is the most beloved species of Satan and why?
Ans. Man is the most beloved species of Satan. This is because other species kill other living beings only when they are hungry, providing Satan, Satanic Joy only at few occasions, whereas man kills and cause other sufferings to other animals and men not only when man needs food, but also for deriving Satanic Joy, thus providing His Unholy Father, Satan, unterrupted Satanic Joy.
December 2008 Jokes
Joke 1. Why do you want to remain a bachelor whole life?
Ans. All of us have 3 positions after our death.
- The worst position. If the sum of our bad deeds (pap) is more than or equal to the sum of our good deeds (punya), then we go to Hell, to get beaten by Angels-of-Death (Yamadoota), irrespective of whether we led a bachelor or married life on Earth.
- The second best position. If the sum of our good deeds (punya) is more than the sum of our bad deeds (pap), and we have led a married life on Earth, then after death, we go to Heaven, to enjoy heavenly pleasures.
- The best position. If the sum of our good deeds (punya) is more than the sum of our bad deeds (pap), and we have led a bachelor life on Earth, then after death, we are appointed in Hell as “Yoga Teachers”, to teach the residents of Hell yoga.
Becoming a yoga teacher in Hell is the highest achievement that is possible for any person and it is much greater achievement than merely going to Heaven.
But, the question arises, why does Yamaraja not allow married people to become a yoga teacher in Hell? The answer is – Yamaraja being kind to good people, thinks that since married people already have suffered from Hell whole life by getting married and since they have done so many good deeds, so, let them enjoy some peace and happiness in Heaven now rather than trying to teach Yoga in Hell, which being an already familiar place, will extremely bore and frustrate them.
Joke 2. What are the qualities which one effortlessly develops after getting married, thanks to one’s spouse?
Ans. Tolerance, endurance and an ardent desire for salvation (Moksha).
